Buying Horror Movies - A Review of Sorority Row

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Sorority Row

What is it about certain movie genres that invite endless remakes? Studios would have us believe that horror movies and their offshoot, slasher films, hold an endless fascination for moviegoers through generations.  Sorority Row, directed by Stewart Hendler (based on the 1983 production, The House On Sorority Row ) joins this long and mostly unsuccessful list.

Five sorority sisters decide to wreak playful revenge on a straying boyfriend.  The unfaithful Garrett (Matt O’Leary) is made to believe that he has inadvertently caused his girlfriend Megan’s (Audrina Patridge) death by slipping her one ‘Roofie’ too many.  The group then takes her ‘body’ to an isolated spot to figure out what to do with it.  Unfortunately, things go horribly wrong, because before the girls can reveal their joke, Garrett impales his ex-girlfriend with a tire iron. 

Oops!  Jessica (Leah Pipes), the group leader, bulldozes the rest into a practical suggestion – to dump the corpse down a mineshaft and move on.  Months later, when they seem to have put the gruesome incident behind them, death comes hunting them down one by one in the form of a cloaked killer armed with – you guessed it – a gussied up tire iron.  Time for the ketchup, folks!

So what makes Sorority Row different from It has all the standard elements of a slasher flick – under-dressed gals, sex, gore and death.  Additionally, Sorority Row has an unexpected vein of dark humour, notably Jessica’s pithy one-liners  and the wry observations of Chugs, played by Margo Harshman.  It’s these attempts at fleshing out the girls’ characters that arouse a degree of empathy.

As the story progresses (most would say regresses), the rational mind tries feebly to cope with the increasingly idiotic ramifications onscreen – even as the eyes cross over in agony with the camera’s wild swings – and gives up.
The iconic Carrie Fisher cameos as the girls’ house mother, Mrs. Crenshaw.  If you focus on the credits, you might recollect that one of the sisters, Rumer Willis, is the daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis.  Enjoy this bloodbath – just don’t let your brain spoil the party.

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